If you’re an an active cam model who’s never had a bout of intense, almost crippling anxiety before or during a camming session, then you must be from planet Krypton or something. Everyone — and I mean EVERYONE – who performs in front of a webcam suffers from anxiety of some sort, at some point. It’s not something that you should feel ashamed of in the least, and it’s also not something that you should allow to tank your webcam modeling dreams. Good camgirls know how to lessen and mitigate their anxiety so that they can still function and have fun during sessions. This is an issue that is totally manageable, and I’m going to show you how it’s done.
Camgirl Anxiety Guide
Before a camming session, I always engage in a bit of meditation to help center myself and build my confidence to go on cam. I’ve really found this to be amazingly helpful, and it makes logging in so much easier. After a solid 10 minutes of meditating, I feel like I could take on the entire world, so entertaining a chat room full of cam viewers is pretty much a cinch. I don’t just meditate, though, I also throw in some positive affirmations that I repeat to myself again and again. I’m not going to reveal exactly what I say to myself, because the line I formulated is admittedly a little embarrassing (it contains more than a couple swear words, lol), but you can easily come up with good, confidence-boosting lines if you give it a little thought. Something simple like “I’m a confident, and outgoing cam girl.” should get you started. Add to it whatever fits your personality best.
The other thing I do before logging on to cam is some slow breathing, which is actually a common anxiety-reducing technique that many people, including soldiers, use to force themselves to relax before doing something stressful. The way you do it is, just breathe in nice and slow for about 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, then slowly exhale for about 4 seconds. Do this three times and you’ll see that those knots in your stomach will begin to loosen up, and you’ll feel much less anxious about going on cam. The breathing actually triggers a physiological response that calms you and beats down any urge to panic. You should always do this right before you logon to cam, but you can also do it maybe 20 or 30 minutes before the session to begin the relaxation process. Just make sure you also do it right before you turn on that webcam.
Don’t panic, prepare! One of the other effective ways to combat camming anxiety is alcohol. Now, I’m not a big drinker, but I have been known to sip a glass of wine during sessions on cam. It’s called “Liquid Courage” for a reason, and it can really help you relax and lower inhibitions. Some girls go overboard with alcohol and get totally shitfaced drunk during shows, which I personally think is a mistake. If you’re totally bombed, you can’t really execute your camming strategy correctly, and you’ll miss critical opportunities to make serious money by taking advantage of certain events that will happen in your room. But yeah, a bit of booze can really help with anxiety, so if you’re over 21, you might want to give it a “shot.”
Probably one of the easiest ways to conquer your camgirl angst would be to go on cam, at least the first few times, with a girlfriend who’s also a cam model. I did this early on and it definitely helped me, but some girls may not be comfortable with it. It’s a personal thing, so you have to decide if it’s something that you could do. For those who are cool with it, having a gal pal there can be super helpful and can cut deep into the anxiety beginner cam models typically face.
Finally, if you have any online friends who you wouldn’t mind watching you cam, you could invite them into your chat room to help give you moral support. In the past, it has certainly been a great help to have friends I know personally in the chat room with me. Just having a friendly chat with them can help you to feel at ease and make you feel more like somebody having some fun online, rather than a “performer” who’s doing a job and has the responsibility of being interesting. They can also add a lot of energy to your chat room and contribute a lot to the activity in the public chat, which is always welcome. There’s nothing worse for a cam girl’s anxiety than for her chat room to be completely silent and uneventful. It’s gives you a creepy vibe.
So, I hope you realize now that having anxiety as a cam model is totally normal, and it should NOT be allowed to derail your camming career. All of us have had to deal with it, to one degree or another, and it’s something that you will learn to conquer or control. Then there’s the fact that, the more experience you accumulate as a cam girl, the less anxiety you will generally have when broadcasting. So the answer is definitely to just keep going, no matter what, and slay this obnoxious fear beast once and for all!
Oh, if you want even more really good tips on how to build your confidence as a cam model, you may want to check out this review of a great webcam modeling course aimed at new camgirls. 🙂
WHO ARE THESE MEN AND WHAT DO THEY WANT
There’s different types, obviously, but the most common tipper is single/divorced/unhappily married man in his 40s-50s, who is too depressed/anxious/unattractive to be able to get any affection from women in real life.
I have a lot of empathy for these people, and in a lot of ways I felt like I was genuinely doing good, especially when I got to talk to them one-on-one. Remember, in this job, underneath all the sex and money, you’re still dealing with real people with real needs, and remember to treat them with kindness. Some of them are actually really wonderful and I’m thankful to have me them.
That being said, there are some aspects of psychology that increase their spending. Men want a few things, and probably one of the biggest is winning a competition.
You see, you’re not just trying to get a guy to pay you – you’re trying to get a guy to pay you in front of a bunch of other guys. This is a super key. A man wants to feel attention from an attractive women on him, and this is made even more satisfying when it’s to the exclusion of those around him. He is showing off his power by buying your happiness.
So, when tipped, make sure you say his name (or username). A lot of girls use subtly masculine-competition language when referring to high tippers, such as “hero,” “champion,” or “winner”. I often would ask questions like “who is going to save my night?” or “who is going to be the one to make me feel x”?
The ‘control show’ I mentioned above plays into this. Give men a way to fight against each other, with tokens. A common tactic is to have guys buy into “teams”, and whichever team tips the most, wins (with the prize being a video or literally anything – you’d be surprised at how many competition prizes are just the guy’s name being listed on the girl’s profile). Have guys fight to put on or off your clothes, or force you/rescue you from doing something gross.
The most profitable thing I ever did was have a ‘war’ with another camgirl, and it became my tipping members vs. hers. Competition is bread and butter. Competition is love. Competition is life. Competition is your key to a life full of luxury handbags and butlers.
Just don’t be too obvious about it. All of this stuff I’m saying can be done with too heavy a hand, and then guys feel gross and leave.
ANTAGONISM TOWARDS YOU
I recommend, if you have the money to spare, go find a low-earning camgirl and tip her an amount you think will make her happy. Pay attention to how that feels.
A huge draw towards this is the power – to make someone happy, or sad, to make them do whatever you want. You want to let men feel this power as viscerally and directly as they can – and one of the easiest ways to do this is antagonism towards you.
I don’t mean this necessarily in a negative way – I mean to imply the narrative that you don’t want to do a thing for whatever reason. “That dildo is too big,” “Oh my god I can’t have another orgasm,” “I don’t want to spank myself,” etc. This can be done in an obvious tone of fun, I don’t mean to say that these guys are abusing you or want to abuse you – they almost always do not want to abuse you – just that some playful tension between you and them makes them feel with extreme clarity their connection with you.
You can pay attention to what people say. If someone stupid comes into your room and says ‘baby wud u suck on that dildo’, you can say, ‘I’ve never done that before, I don’t know about that, but I guess I would if…. nah, I don’t think anybody would want to tip that much,’ and then bam, guys have a hill to climb, a mind to change, something to accomplish.
I don’t think women easily empathize with the life of unattractive men. Women get constant messages that you are beautiful and you are desirable – they get social support and easily accessible casual sex, if they ever wanted it.
Men do not live in a world where people are supporting them even when nobody seems to want them. Men are lonelier and have fewer options of healing that loneliness. They also have a greater (initiatory!) sex drive, and are stuck with the social burden of being the one who has to act and pursue, because if they don’t, they will be alone forever.
And so for you to smile at them, laugh at their jokes, be warmly interested in what they have to say, to be willing to bare your body for them and feel pleasure with them – this is something that they crave.
Obviously money is involved. Obviously you wouldn’t do this without money and you shouldn’t feel obligated to do anything. It isn’t your responsibility to heal other people’s loneliness. But keep in mind that this is a fundamental yearning of the people you’re dealing with – they want you to approve of them, to deem them worthy of affection. To maximize money, you should give out approval proportionally to the amount they tip you. You don’t have to maximize money in this regard, though, if you don’t want to. I paid more attention to higher tippers in general, but I also paid more attention to people I genuinely liked. Camming would have been unbearable for me otherwise.
Some guys like easy approval, but there’s a whole class of guys who like hard approval. They don’t feel like your approval is real unless they’ve worked for it. And thus we enter the pretty substantial world of fin doms, princess bitches, and dominatrices. Some extremely high-earning girls are demanding, barely give any attention to those who tip, and are constantly displeased. These pull in the demographic of men who want a huge mountain to climb – this girl is angry at everybody, how incredible could it be for him to be the one to get a slight smile on her face! And so he pulls out his wallet.
Feel this one out. It will probably take a while, though one might immediately suit your personality. Keep in mind that being overly grateful for every tip might not be the best idea, and might alienate the demographic of men who want to work for it. I’d recommend looking at girls who are slightly above you in rank and watch the level of excitement they display in response to tips, and roughly try to match that – don’t go over.